February 2013 cont…

Yesterday we left off with me in prayer as I felt hopeless, lost, confused and directionless. All creating terrible frustration and anger that displayed itself in road rage and irritability everywhere I went. Where was my control over my life??

I called up a good friend, Cherrie Howard, for some direction and prayer. For the second time she recommended me the book The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson and we both spoke of our dreams and leaving our lives in God’s hands. This time ready to receive her advice I immediately got on Amazon.com and not only ordered that book but 2 others: Secrets of the Vine and A Life God Rewards all by Bruce Wilkinson. They were delivered a few days later and I put them on the shelf where they sat unopened, unread…

I speak with my mom almost daily and her and my brother both did some internet searching and suggested I check out Grace Walk church in Phoenix.

We fall down but we get up…

Saturday March 1, 2013

In the back of my mind I knew there was a church service at Grace Walk at 5pm but I ignored that fact. I was laying around my apartment, lazy, cuddling with my dog and managing her pain as best I could with medications. Something inside me though was pulling at me to go to church but I continued to ignore it. I sure as heck wasn’t getting dressed and doing anything. 4:25pm came around and I could no longer ignore the stirring in me. I jumped off the couch, threw on clothes, minimal makeup and ran out the door…

I was warmly welcomed by a very kind woman who explained the mission of the church to me and found me a seat. The live music began playing and I began to relax in the strong presence of the Lord. A woman, the Pastor’s wife, took the podium, I reached for my notebook and never succeeded in pulling my jaw off the floor…

She spoke to me: “Anger is the emotion behind bitterness, frustrations, tiredness, etc… Why are you so angry? It’s just a response.” {Self-control}

“We must change how we deal with our circumstances. Do you allow a traumatic instance to change your life for the worst? Why? God has simply changed your direction. DEAL WITH IT.”

She was giving me my first set of instructions for living a Christian life. She was giving me a starting point, something to work with: Ephesians 4: 26-27,

        “Do not sin when you are angry. And STOP being angry at the end of the day”

She continued, “Lay it down and move on. The strong forgive, the weak hold grudges. When you hold on to what others do to you, you give them power over your life. Take the arrow out of YOUR shoulder, you’re only hurting yourself.”

This whole time the problem was me! It was my reaction to what was happening in my life. It was me allowing people to bother me. When things didn’t go as planned I allowed myself to become angry and pout. Everything wasn’t stupid, it was just my life unfolding before me, being played out by the Master himself for my good. The point of it all, of every little thing we encounter, is the growth and the work I would allow God to do in me.

I had to forgive myself for my past wrongs, search deep and forgive others for past wrongs because holding on is just a festering. A silent killing of ourselves taking away joy and peace.

Ephesians 31-32:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you”

Are you angry? Are you un-forgiving? Why? Everything here on Earth is temporary. No greater gift exists then looking upwards knowing that heaven, eternal life is waiting for you! What can man do to you that God can’t handle…?


Thank you for yet another day to be blessed by your gracious gifts. Thank you for sending your only Son to live and die so that nothing can keep us from building a relationship with you. Help us to understand that by the blood of Christ we are already forgiven. We need only confess our sins, lay them before you and get back up. We are never alone. Lord, when we feel shunned and disciplined by you, help us to understand that you are only training us to grow in maturity so that we can do your work. We are loved by you no matter what we did and what we do. Bless my walk today Lord, keep me in the Holy Spirit and may my forgiveness of myself and others allow me to be a light to all I come across on this day. Allow our struggles to build our character. Lead us. Keep us the course. Thank you for my life. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.



3 thoughts on “2. YOU ARE FORGIVEN!

  1. Pingback: YOU ARE FORGIVEN! | The Vineyard

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